


just this once

by snailtooth



Category: Maximum Ride - James Patterson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Best Friends, Depressed Iggy (Maximum Ride), Fluff and Angst, Gen, Nonbinary Fang (Maximum Ride), Touch-Starved Iggy (Maximum Ride), Unhappy Ending, could be interpreted as one sided feelings, fang is autistic but its not featured so no tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28436244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snailtooth/pseuds/snailtooth
Summary: Fang shaves Iggy's face for him with a gentle hand. Iggy reflects on the experience 15 years later and it is more bitter than sweet.
Relationships: Fang & Iggy (Maximum Ride)
Kudos: 8





	just this once

Iggy bounced his leg as he waited for Fang to come back with the shaving cream they were stealing from the other bathroom. He reached up and touched his face, yeah the amount of stubble he had was definitely becoming a problem. It was funny that it had taken until he was 17 for him to even have facial hair significant enough for it to be annoying. Iggy was pretty sure he looked like a shitty gamer with the tiny mustache he was sporting. Fang had offered to shave his face for him, which seemed safer for the time being. Iggy would learn, but for now he just wanted all of his facial hair gone. As he was touching his face, the door to the bathroom creaked open, and Fang walked over to the counter and set the shaving cream down.

“You’re gonna have to stop bouncing your leg while I do this.”

Iggy felt nervous, but he put a grin on anyways, “You got it boss. No stanky leg from me.”

Fang poured offense into their tone, “ _Stanky_ leg?”

Iggy didn’t back down, “Stanky leg!”

Fang huffed and ignored him, turning on the sink and letting it run. Iggy waited for them to explain what they were doing, but they didn’t. So he reached out and shoved them with his foot, “You gotta explain so I can learn.”

Fang cleared their throat, “I’m filling the sink up with hot water. Then you’re gonna get your face wet for me, and I’ll put on the shaving cream. You don’t have to fill it up but it wastes less water than running it every time you rinse the razor… at least I think it does.”

Iggy nodded to show his understanding and tapped his fingers against his knees while he waited. Fang shut off the tap and reached out to place a hand lightly on Iggy’s elbow, “You can get your face wet now, it only needs to be the bottom half.”

Iggy did as he was told, then sat back in his chair, face dripping onto his shirt. Fang stood in front of him and he heard the sound of shaving cream being dispensed. Fang rubbed the first bit from his jawline to chin, and Iggy shivered, “Fuck, that’s cold.” He was also shivering because someone was touching his face with a careful hand, but that was a way more embarrassing justification.

Fang had a smile in their voice, “You’re just a baby.”

Iggy made a pouty face, which immediately got shaving cream on his lip. He reached up and wiped it off, interrupting Fang’s work. They resumed on the other side of his face, though, and then started rubbing in the shaving cream. “I never usually do this but I was researching how to shave someone else’s face and it says you’re supposed to make it lather.” Iggy couldn’t nod so he just made a sound of understanding and kept still as Fang touched his face. He wondered if Jeb had taught this to them. He doubted it, they had probably learned it from a YouTube video, Fang and Jeb had always been pretty cold with each other.

“Okay, you don’t actually have a lot of hair on your face so this will go quick. You pretty much just make sure you’re pulling the razor down instead of up, and you rinse it after every couple of swipes so it doesn’t get uh… clogged up.”

Iggy scrunched his face up, “Gross.”

Fang shoved his shoulder, “I didn’t know how else to say it, jerk.” They stepped closer so they were standing in between Iggy’s legs, and they grabbed the razor off of the counter. After rinsing it with water, Fang set their left hand on Iggy’s shoulder, “You ready?”

Iggy nodded, feeling warmth seeping into his body from Fang’s palm, “Go ahead.”

Fang pulled the razor down the plane of Iggy’s left cheek, then his jaw. They rinsed the razor and when they came back, they put their free hand on the back of Iggy’s head. Ah. Iggy leaned his head back into Fang’s hand, which made them breathe hard out of their nose, Fang’s version of a laugh. They didn’t comment any further, though. They continued shaving his face, moving from his left cheek to his chin. As Fang worked and intermittently rinsed out the razor, they rubbed the thumb of their left hand back and forth against Iggy’s undercut. It was kind of making Iggy’s brain short circuit. He often shared quick touches with his friends, them tapping his hands or elbows, or sometimes holding his hand while they were going places. But Iggy rarely ever touched anyone for very long, or with much pressure or _tenderness_. And now Fang was carefully shaving his face, standing so close to him he could feel the weight of their presence, and caressing his hair. He was so zoned out he didn’t notice that Fang was speaking to him until they bumped their leg into his.

“Dude. I’m trying to do your upper lip. I need you to make a weird face for me.”

Iggy startled, a little embarrassed, “Sorry. Uh, what kind of face?”

“You know the face you make when you’re pretending to be a snobby British lady? Where you kinda stretch out your top lip?”

Iggy grinned, “Yes.”

“Do that. I’m gonna swipe down and avoid the part right under your nose, but this part is tricky.”

Iggy did as he was told and Fang carefully used the razor to shave off his sparse mustache. They moved their hand, balancing it against Iggy’s chin as the other focused on shaving. Fang was practically holding his face. Shit. Iggy tried to focus on the sensation of his wet collar, which was pretty unpleasant, anything to keep him from having embarrassingly soft thoughts about his best friend. Iggy didn’t think Fang meant any of the tenderness in the way he was interpreting it. 

“Gonna do your neck now, you gotta tilt your face up to the ceiling. This part is the scariest one but I’ll be careful.”

Iggy nodded and tilted his head back. Something about it felt very vulnerable. Well, the whole process did. He was trusting someone else to not hurt him, to take care of him. He didn’t usually like trusting people, he liked to do things on his own, even if that made things harder. And especially in emotional or mental health matters, asking for help was something he never did. He probably needed to work on that instead of just popping off jokes about how he was doing, but that was a problem for another day. This time he had accepted Fang’s help, and he was glad for it. He hardly felt scared as Fang carefully shaved from his chin to the crook of his neck. After a few passes of this, Fang took their hand off of Iggy’s face and stepped back. Iggy missed their presence immediately, but he smiled at them anyways, “Is it done?”

“Yep. Let me drain the sink and then you can rinse all the extra shaving cream off.”

Iggy waited until the sound of the water had draining finished before he stood up and stepped over to it. He leaned down (pretty far, he was pushing 6’5) and cleaned all the extra shaving cream off of his face and neck, wetting his shirt more. When he stood up, Fang pressed a towel into his hands, “Here.”

“Thanks.”

Iggy took the towel and wiped off his face. Once it was all dry, he ran his finger over his upper lip, his chin, his jaw. All smooth. Iggy hummed happily and turned to Fang, “Thanks man, it feels way better.”

Fang bumped their fist against Iggy’s shoulder, “Sure thing, _nerd_.”

* * *

  
  


Iggy stepped out of the shower and pulled on some underwear, socks, and pajama pants. He needed to shave, so he wouldn’t put his shirt on yet, he didn’t want it to get wet. His back was aching, which was pretty fucking ridiculous, seeing as he was only 32. He sighed and stepped towards the bathroom counter, feeling out for his shaving gel and razor. He stoppered the sink and started filling it up with hot water. It was a methodical process, he’d had lots of years of practice. As he sat waiting for the sink to fill, he thought about Fang. They were the one who taught him to shave so long ago. First doing it for him, then watching while he did it himself and offering moral support. Iggy remembered all the times Fang had held his face, rested their hand against his jaw, tilted his chin up carefully. He wished they still lived together, maybe Fang would have shaved his face for him right then. 

Things were pretty lonely for Iggy. 

Sure, he had roommates, but no interactions with them were as fulfilling or loving as the ones he was used to. The last time Iggy had seen Fang in person was on his birthday, it’d been _months_ since then. He wished he could hug them, or the flock, or anyone.

He and Fang FaceTimed some, but it always made some horrible feeling fester in Iggy’s gut. He would hear them walking around their house, all the loud happy noises and cabinets banging shut. Fang would bring Hawk to talk with him and they would squabble in the moments between Iggy’s updates. Max would come in and interrupt them sometimes, and her and Fang would share calm, tender words. It made Iggy feel so alienated from these people who were supposed to be his family. They had a whole domestic life that Iggy hadn’t found yet, and he wasn’t even dating. It seemed impossible that he’d ever get there. He shook his head to get the thoughts out and shut off the water. He stuck his hand in to test the depth. He had overfilled it, but in his defense, he was busy feeling sorry for himself.

Iggy bent over and splashed the warm water on his face. He grabbed the shave gel and dispensed some out into his hand, brought it up to his face, and paused. He shut his eyes and relaxed his shoulders, “Just this once. I’ll pretend just this once, okay?” 

Iggy brought his hand to the opposite side of his face and caressed his cheek as he spread out the gel. He moved his hand to his chin and lip, carefully applying the product. It might have been ridiculous to outside an eye, and Iggy did feel ridiculous. But his longing to be cared for outweighed his pride. He would just pretend Fang was there shaving his face. For a few minutes he would let himself imagine being loved, and then he would head out into his shared living space and make a meal for one. 

He used two fingers to push up his own chin then applied the gel all over his neck. He moved onto the other side of his face, dispensing gel on the opposite hand again before lathering it on. Iggy let his hand rest against his face and he moved his thumb back and forth over his cheek bone, sighing sadly. He pressed against his hand in an attempt to imagine Fang was there holding up his weight. He finished lathering up his face and rinsed his hands off in the sink. He grabbed his razor and slowly brought it to his face. He put one hand under his chin and used the other to make a pass from his sideburn to jaw. Iggy smiled. He moved his thumb back and forth against his neck, and he felt comforted, held. He continued on, rinsing his razor and carefully adjusting his own face with his opposite hand to make the shaving easier. Occasionally he moved his fingers over the areas he’d already shaved to make sure he’d done it accurately. He missed spots sometimes. It wasn’t something Fang would have done, but it was a necessary step, so Iggy continued checking and imagined the conversation they might have had about it,

_“You trying to feel me up?”_

_“No, dumb ass. I just wanted to check that I got everything.”_

_“Suuure.”_

Fang would have punched him in the shoulder and said nothing else. Iggy pressed his knuckles into his shoulder. It almost felt real. 

He got the tricky part under his nose, the part that grew sideways on his jaw, and the hair on his neck. He listened to the quiet scraping sound of the razor and tried not to breathe too loudly. He didn’t want to ruin the moment. When he was done he felt over his face one last time, then bent down and rinsed off with water. It had grown lukewarm. Iggy felt a pang in his chest that he tried to ignore. He grabbed his towel in one hand and started drying off his face, placing his other hand softly on his own shoulder. The illusion was fading, though. His hands were too cold, much bigger than Fang’s. And there was no other breath to listen to, no shuffle of someone else’s feet. There was just Iggy and his tiny, cold bathroom, with its lukewarm water and scratchy towel. The feeling in his chest grew stronger. He covered his face with the towel and bent over the sink, resting his elbows on it and pressing his face into his hands. He pressed harder, thinking maybe he could force the pain out of his brain. He sat there for a long time, moving the towel out of the way of his mouth when it got too hard to breathe. He missed Fang. He missed his family. He missed waking up and looking forward to the day. He missed being young with a good back. He missed feeling alive. Sure, he’d been through a lot of bad shit when he was younger, but at least he had been surrounded by people who cared. Something about waking up every day just to live with people he barely knew and go to a job he barely liked was just as suffocating, in a different way.

Iggy wanted to cry. He wanted to fall to the bathroom floor, shaking and sobbing. But no tears came. And really, he didn’t want to make a scene. 

So, like always, he pressed it down. Even then, he was performing for an audience composed only of himself. He pulled the towel away from his eyes, standing up to his full height with a flat, empty expression. He unstoppered the sink. As it drained he grabbed his shirt from off of the counter, checking for the tag then slipping it on. He needed to go make dinner. Standing in front of the bathroom door, Iggy paused. Before stepping out into the hallway he brought his hands to his face one last time, and pushed the corners of his mouth up into a smile. 

Better.

**Author's Note:**

> sup ! i'm @ autisticfang on tumblr if you want to see more of me ! comments are appreciated ! have an awesome day <3


End file.
